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Sunday, March 3, 2013

Humor in Adversity

Hello, Dear Friends.

January, as you know, was a nightmare for us...but I am happy to say we have awakened sufficiently to continue.

We, as a family, have somehow always found the humor in the worst situations, and this is holding true now.

An anecdote or two to prove the point:

Time:  January 14th, 2013
Scene:  Mom's Funeral Mass:
                  The mood is somber, as at most funerals. Dad and Jerry and I lead the family procession to our pews. Due to a little mix-up, Jerry was unable to sit with us, so Dad and I had the end of the bench nearest the aisle. The pastor of their church, who shall remain nameless in this postcard to protect whatever reputation he may have left after this day, greets us solemnly and proceeds with the service.

All is going well...lovely readings by my cousins, a wonderful eulogy by my Brother Lenny. Then it is "Father Who"'s turn to say a few words. He has been Dad and Ma's pastor for many years, and we are expecting to hear at least one personal story about Mom from her Spiritual Adviser. Well, he must have been high on sacrificial wine, because what he chose to share with us was how Mom was now at peace, and reunited with her husband Albert at Our Heavenly Father's table in Heaven.

(insert audio of  many jaws dropping here)

Now, those of you who know me well are aware of my age, and it is certain that the trials of the past year have taken their toll on my face. And although Dad is 29 years older than me, he looks GREAT for a 90 year old man. So maybe "Father Who" should be given the benefit of the doubt for mistaking my Dad for my husband.  (Nah...I think not! How do you not recognize one of your most faithful parishioners???).

The entire congregation is in shock when "Father Who" repeats the sentiment further along in the service. Dad looks at me with a confused look on his face. I am at a loss. I can't very well interrupt his sermon to correct the error. I lean towards Dad and whisper, "No matter what this guys says, you are still among the living."  Again, the confused look.  A pause.  Then a chuckle.

Dad has never been a "quiet" man. His booming voice is legend in some parts of Providence.  His chuckle is more than audible. And it is contagious, (in a subdued way, mind... it IS, after all, a funeral.)

Now "Father Who" looks confused, in a "What's so Funny?" sort of way.  But that doesn't stop him from saying, AGAIN, how Josephine must be so happy to be with her parents and siblings and husband once more.

It was with a very little success that the Assembled Martineau Family kept from laughing out loud in church.

***********************

Time:  February 26, 2013 (Mom's 82nd Birthday)
Scene:  Mom's Gravesite
                Dad and Donna and I decided to visit Mom's grave on her birthday, to leave some flowers, say a prayer, say goodbye again. This is the first time we have visited since the funeral, so we are a little emotional about it. It's a very cold Tuesday, mid-morning, so there are only a few other people at the cemetery, and for some reason there are no burial services happening at this time.

Good thing.

We stand at the grave, shivering, lost in our own thoughts for a few minutes. Then Dad, softly for him, begins to sing..."Happy Birthday To You..."

Donna and I couldn't help ourselves.  We joined him in a rousing rendition of the Birthday Song --- in true "Martineau Style" (which means quite loud, and totally off-key).

I think Mom would've liked that...


xoxoxo, clare
                     








4 comments:

  1. I like your family.. your dad sounds like a sweetie. A sense of humour can get you through so much. I'm not so sure I would have stayed quiet about that faux pas though.

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  2. I think it might be time to replace the pastor. If he doesn't know all the parish members he should keep the names on note paper. It sounds like your father and family pushed it all aside. A very loving post.

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  3. GREAT stories! I love how you reassured your dad that he was still alive, and that he chuckled at it, too.

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  4. Ah, my great friends!

    Thank you for your sweet comments...I love it that you are still with me even though I have been neglectful towards you.

    Soon, all will be well, and I will get back to blogging with a vengeance. Hang in there, good buddies!!!

    xoxoxo, cd

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