Tenjewberrymud

(plagiarized from a story in the Far East Economic Review, published many years ago.)
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... a telephone exchange between me and room-service at a hotel in Asia.

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Clare (cd):    "Sorry, I thought I dialed Room Service"

RS:  "Rye...ruin sorbees...morny!  Jewish to odor sunteen?"
cd:   "Uh...yes.  This is Clare Dunn in room 2903. I'd like to order some bacon and eggs."

RS:  "Ow July den?"
cd:   "Excuse me?"

RS:  "Ow July den?  Pry, boy, pooch?"
cd    "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Scrambled, please."

RS:  "Ow July dee baychem...crease?"
cd:   "Crisp will be fine."

RS:  "Hokay. Santos?"
cd:   "What?"

RS:  "Toes.  July santos?"
cd:   "I don't think so..."

RS:  "No?  Judo Juan toes?"
cd:   "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'Judo Juan toes' means."

RS:   "Toes!  Toes!  Why jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow Singlish mopping?"
cd:   "English muffin!  I've got it!  You were saying 'Toast'!   Yes, toast is what I want".

RS:  "Hokay, toes. Why, we, are racin'?"
cd:   "HUH???"

RS:  "Why, we, are racin' toes?"
cd:   "OH!! Wheat! No, sorry, make it Raisin, please."

RS:  "We bother?"
cd:   (I'm getting it, now...) "If it's no bother..."  (heehee)

RS, "Hokay, racin' toes, no bother."
cd:  "No, No! We bother!"

RS:  "Wad?"
cd:   "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS:  "Copy?"
cd:    "Yes, I'm getting it now..."

RS:  "No! Jew Juan Copy?...tea?...mill?"
cd:   "Ah...Yes.  Coffee please, and that's all."

RS:  "Hokay, Juan Minnie...Ass Ruin too-rine-o-free, strangle ache, crease baychem, Racin' toes we bother sigh, and copy...rye?"
cd:   "Whatever you say."

RS:  Tenjewberrymud!"
cd:  "You're Welcome."